Try, Try, Try Again

Well friends, I don't know if it was something I ate, drank, or the Advil I took last night but I am a basket case today. Seriously, a total basket case. It all started last night and I was in a FOUL mood. I had a headache, my hip still hurt, I didn't do my Day 2 WYM challenge and I was just aggravated with life. I decided in the end to just go to bed early and get some sleep. I woke up this morning and while I was getting ready for work I took a long look in the mirror and started crying. And not the quiet tears on my face crying the ugly kind of crying where your face gets blotchy, your eyes get puffy, and you just cry out loud. I was a TOTAL wreck.

I have NO idea where it came from, I blame my PMS for my extremely bizarre mood swings, but as soon as I started crying everything came back to haunt me. All the little details and failings in the last 24 hours came up. I was sad about missing my workout this morning to finish my taxes, my hip hurt, I was angry I had 3 glasses of wine last night, I was upset about going over in my calories for the day yesterday by 300, I was angry about my weight, (I somehow had decided in the middle of my nervous break down to weigh myself.....it wasn't a good idea), and I started attacking myself from the inside out!

I work with a life coach and we talk about all sorts of topics but one of the things she says is that everyone has gremlins or inner demons which are those negative thoughts you keep in your head. I named my gremlin Lola and let me tell you, she's a total bitch. Seriously. My inner demon, Lola, whenever she feels the mood change to the negative she sweeps in and starts attacking my body image.....which isn't strong or secure to begin with. So, as I'm standing in the bathroom crying she went to town on just about everything, my weight, the size of my thighs, my butt, my face, my hair.....it was BAD. I finally at least gathered myself enough to get ready and get in the car but I continued to bawl my eyes out for the first half of my commute.(Probably not a good idea to be driving while crying but I made it to work OK).

Once I got to work I felt a little better, music really helps to soothe me so I turned on one of my favorite CDs but I was still feeling blue. I tried to composed myself and set a plan for the day to just ignore it and try for a better day. And then I was on Facebook and I saw that one of my friends posted this,

Source

And then I cried..........again.

Seriously, B-A-S-K-E-T C-A-S-E!

But, after taking a moment I realize what a powerful message this is. While I am acknowledging that yesterday night didn't go well for my weight loss plan and I don't want to make excuses, I'm also aware that today is a new day and while I feel badly about decisions I made last night I have hope whispering in my ear to Try, Try, Try Again. I know in the long run I WILL succeed but I guess days like these are all part of the journey. I guess it's just what you choose to make out of it. On days like today, will you pick yourself apart and give up or will you shake it off and try it again? I'm shaking myself off, drying the tears, and I'm going to kick ass today. Just you watch! :0)

Try, Try, Try Again